big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
