I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
