Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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