And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
