I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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