This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
