Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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