the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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