Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
