is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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