i just wanna soil my oats bro
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
