JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need a beard to bite.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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