don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Come see our sink grown plant.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
