I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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