I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
