I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
