You're completely useless in the revolution.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
There are leaves in my underwear?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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