I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dignity is for republicans.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
