she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
