every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
