Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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