you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
