Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
