The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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