Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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