it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
