I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
