Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
