Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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