It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
