Small penises have feelings too.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
