I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
