her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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