I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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