I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
