I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
