Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Let's get the cat blown out
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
