I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
