I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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