We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
