yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
