How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
