Can i not drive my cunt home
I just cut my nipple shaving
i was born a porn star she said
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
