Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
