we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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