the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am one with the molecules
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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