If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
