Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
