Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
