think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
