We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize