THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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