Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
