i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
