scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
