I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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