May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize