I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
