I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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