I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
