just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
