Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drake has all the answers
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
