How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
