you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
