you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
