let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
did i walk over a car last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
