Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
