The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
