told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize