I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
