Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
