what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
