Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
