At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
