I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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