I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
