I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize