I just found puke in my bra..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
